If you are looking to be happier and want to know how to be happy with yourself every day, it is best to begin by treating yourself right. Of course, that seems far too simple. However, too many people bypass this step and just go straight to chasing goals and dreams that may be unattainable or at best impractical.
In fact, if you focus on being good to yourself, you end up bringing yourself closer to those lofty goals. The more you value your own self and focus on improving from within, the more confidence and self-assurance you will have which will lead to a happier you.
The happiest people treat themselves right and ensure that they do something nice for themselves every day. By setting appropriate boundaries and saying no when necessary, Daylle Deanna Schwartz says in her book, Effortless Entrepreneur, “When you love yourself, you understand that saying no to something you don’t want to do is an act of kindness, and you don’t walk around with negative feelings toward the person who asked you to do something you didn’t want to do.”
The fuller your cup is the more you can pull from that cup give to others, so taking time to make yourself happy will, in turn, make others happy as well and improve your relationships.
How to be happy with yourself, here are 12 things you can do:
1. Do something nice for yourself every day
Make a commitment to yourself to do at least one nice thing for yourself every day to show a little self-love. It does not matter how big or small, just commit to doing it. When you commit to doing something nice for yourself, you are promising to take care of yourself daily and in turn, will be working toward achieving your goals and ensuring a safety net so that you will not let others treat you poorly.
2. Listen to yourself
Listen to how you talk to yourself and eliminate negative self-talk. Eliminating negative self-talk will empower you to stop telling yourself lies and replace them with affirmations and positive energy. In my course on building up your self-esteem, I give you tools to make you become more aware of how you are talking to yourself so you can learn more about how to be happy with yourself.
3. Forgive yourself
You are not perfect. No one else expects perfection from you. Forgiveness is a big part of happiness. Acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them. Have clarity when forgiving yourself by being upfront and honest with how you have been treating — or mistreating — yourself.
4. Accept yourself as you are
A big part of your personal happiness comes from accepting yourself as you are. As said above, you are not perfect, but you can accept that and move forward.
5. Eliminate toxic people
Every person has toxic relationships in their life. People who constantly criticize, never stop complaining, and only focus on the negative work to bring you down. There are some who will dump all their problems on others. These toxic relationships are incredibly detrimental to your self-esteem. Resolve to spend less time with the toxic people in your life and spend more time with people who bring you positive energy.
6. Be grateful
Count every blessing in your life no matter what size it is. Rejoice in the weather of the day! If it is a beautiful day full of sunshine and warmth, go for a walk and make a note of how much you appreciate it. If the weather is rainy and cold, you can still take pleasure in indoor activities like reading a book with a warm cup of tea. Being grateful is changing the perspective of the world around you to a place of positivity rather than focusing on the negative aspects of life.
7. Pay attention to your health
Your body is amazing! It tells you what you need and when you need it. Pay attention to the signals it is telling you. Don’t skip meals and exercise regularly to keep yourself in shape. By keeping yourself in shape, you are ensuring that you can be there for others when they need you and thus increase your happiness. I know that at times exercising can be difficult because you are tired or unmotivated. “A lot of times when people are fatigued, the last thing they want to do is exercise,” says researcher Patrick O’Connor, co-director of the University of Georgia exercise psychology laboratory, in Athens, Ga. “But if you’re physically inactive and fatigued, being just a bit more active will help.”
Breathing is amazing. No. Really…Think about it. When your mood shifts, your rate and style of breathing changes. “Every thought and every emotion has a corresponding reaction in the breath,” says Mona Shah Joshi, a personal development expert at the Art of Living Retreat Center in North Carolina. “For example, when you’re angry, you breathe faster; when you’re sad, your exhalations are longer than your inhalations,” she explains. So when you watch your breath and catch yourself in negative energy, what can you do? The answer is in the question, according to Shah Joshi. “What this means is that you can change how you feel, simply by changing the pattern of your breath.” Here are some breathing exercises you can try.
9. Don’t compare yourself to others
“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.”– Marquis de Condorcet
Often when we think of how to be happy with yourself, we find ourselves comparing to others. It is unfair to compare yourself to another person. Often times a person doesn’t know the full experience of another or perhaps you are at a different stage of life than the other person. Your life experience is unique and there is a lot going for you that you should be focusing on instead of focusing your attention on your weaknesses. Express your strengths and remind yourself of the things you are good at. Celebrate your strengths!
10. Celebrate small victories
Each thing you do can be a celebration. You got out of bed today! Congratulations you are alive! You have made it to another day! By praising yourself for those small wins will all add up to praising yourself for a big win. Celebrating small steps that are part of a larger goal will help keep you focused and driven to achieve that goal.
11. Do one task
Making to-do lists helps you feel organized and creates a system for completing larger tasks. When you finish a task and you are able to cross it off the list, it helps you feel accomplished and keeps you focused on the task at hand. The important thing is not to focus on completing the entire checklist though. Focus on just doing one thing at a time. Or even focus on just doing one thing. Celebrate your completion of that task. Once you have completed the task, it will help you stay motivated to complete another one. Your brain does this automatically if you just get it started. This is called the Zeigarnik Effect.
Mindfulness meditation will help bring you focus and calm. This will also increase your happiness. When you meditate, the stress areas of your brain decrease and the areas in charge of compassion and self-awareness increase. Take a moment to meditate and it will increase a connection within yourself to bring you peace and contentment.
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